The 100th Day

16th of Nov, 3:04am on Tuesday- listening to 好男人-陈小春
It has been 100 days we were together.. This period comes out of many meaningful memories between us either good or bad.. I believe every couple has not only sweet memories, but also grieved memories.. Sweet memory is to maintain the relationship while sad memory is to improve understandings to each other.. After some incidences, we only found out that how should we improve and which aspect to improve.. We will know what we need respectively and knowing how is his or her character in your life, how important is he and she to you.. A successful relationship should have undergone this process before having a perfect marriage life..

On the 100th, is 100th days, finally I could say that I really understand her because something had happened in my relationship..In fact it is not easy to go through this first 100 days.. Some people said that the first 3 months is the sweetest period..After that, the feeling will be decreasing and getting faded.. Now Im here to confidently prove this statement is wrong, totally wrong.. I believe that my relationship will be getting better and better.. This is because Im controlling this relationship instead of this relationship controlling me.. I know this is not an easy job as it needs two parties to carry out.. If either one party quits this game, the another must end it up as well.. I will not allow any third party to join this game or replace her as the player in this game.. I will not devastate my effort to this happiness..

Now I have to start my 101th day and anticipate the next 100th.. I wish there is no fullstop in our relationship and never give up so long as we love each other..

I love you, Chyi..

Hurt After Back From War

14th of November, 1.20pm on Sunday.. 我爱他-丁当
2 days ago, I was bringing a heavy feeling back to Ipoh.. Supposingly I should be very happy.. First, finally Im considered graduated and ready to enter another university.. That's social university.. Second, Finally I was free of exam.. I wont meet the exam feeling and burn night oil for rushing my rushing until my pimpers came out.. Third, I can go back to celebrate my grandmother birthday with my 3 cousins as well.. There is a long time we never meet each other already..

Pros and cons, I couldnt meet her for a period once I left there.. I decided to stay back there and give up on my grandmother's celebration..At the end, she rejected me to accompany her and told me wanna go back college.. haizzz.. disappointed.. I knew she wanna me go back home and participate the celebration.. haizzz.. After I departed from my house to Midvalley, then I found out that she eager to see me.. swt =.=" ..why must be like that, why couldnt be selfish and just tell me what you actually want..

Finally I reached home and slept for 14 hours.. lolx.. this was becoz I never slept for last night because of my last exam.. But I know start from now I needed not to bear it anymore.. Celebration was still going on smoothly.. nothing special.. went to an expensive but not nice restaurant to have a steamboat buffet..choices of food are too less, it is not worth at that price..

After that, the critical nightmare was just started.. From the beginning, I called her with a very happy mood and talked to her very nice.. Suddenly I found out that she was not happy and moody at the moment.. I dont know whether I did something wrong to her or anything happened to her.. I asked and asked, until I fed up and irritating, finally I gave up on asking her and end up the conversation.. I thought I should give her time to calm down herself because I knew she didnt want want to tell me.. After a few hours, she scolded me that I didnt understand her.. =.='' I was stunned and questioning myself whether I did wrong.. I went to her blog to find out the ans.. but ans was still the same.. I called her once again, but she rejected me.. My feeling was like being sentenced to death with noticing any crime I did.. innocent plus irritating feeling..

Argument started.. After a while, she called me back and I talked to her with a higher tune.. That's why we ended the conversation badly.. When I calmed down myself, I called her and realized that something which made me more irritating.. I was quite angry and disappointed.. Why she never think of my feeling?.. could the person do whatever if he or she is mad or moody? have I been fooling all this while?.. Taking her exam into my account, I compromised with her and settled all the problems, everything went back to the same.. Perhaps my trustworthy on her was no longer as much as before as I was stabbed too deeply.. but after this incidence, I found out that I love her very much, even much than before.. Trustworthy is an essential element to maintain a relationship..build it up with the fact and adversely it could be destroyed by fact and doubting as well..

He's left

27th of October, 2.43am on Wednesday..listening to Raymond Lam's Come2me concert..
Finally, Im willing to spare my time to update this blog.. My busy life really drives me crazy.. There is no one day that I could have nothing to do after I opened my eyes from my sleeping.. Handphone's alarm was set to wake me up for some purposes everyday.. Now even the alarm function is not really effective to me as I will stop the continuous ringing and continue to sleep.. =.= ..When I only can wake up freely without listening to the alarm?!! or sleep till whenever I want..

First of all, I really dunno what tittle i should put on my this post.. There is too many things I wanna write at here.. I dunno how to start it.. There is plenty of incidences had happened within this period.. Yesterday, my brother had "finally" went to UK to pursue his PhD. in University of Manchester within 5 years. I really dunno what course he was taking because we are less to talk to each other.. According to my mother's words, he was studying something like making bomb or something like explosion.. really speechless.. hardly to get what he was thinking..

Our relationship is not really closed although he is my brother because we always argue with each other since our stands and opinions are not in a same direction.. But I still feel regretful and sad about his leave.. Yesterday at the same time, I was facing to my Banking examination and the exam really disappointed me as well because I couldnt answer some questions.. It made me couldnt meet my brother at the airport.. it's really a piece of shit!!.. I was eager to meet him up as our last meeting was few weeks ago.. His left perhaps caused me to meet him up after 5 years.. 5-year is not a short period and i felt like I had lost something.. haizzz..

I still remembered that I had ever argued with him before about his future.. I remembered that at the end of the controversy I said that next time we see who can earn more money.. Now this statement really gave me much pressure.. haha.. but if I really didnt say it by that time, I was still pressured by my future as that was my greatest mission in my life.. Now he went to oversea already.. My heart to place myself at oversea was even more passionate.. First, I could avoid from people 'talking' about me.. Second, my mother will be proud of her sons and she could deserve a better life.. Third, that's what I always wish..

Now the house was getting lesser and lesser people.. The warmth and the noise was also lesser.. Next year my sister will also not be there probably because she has to enter into university.. So it just left 2 couples.. Three of us were separated far away.. haizzz.. I begin to miss those days we were together.. those days we argued together.. Actually we have a lot of special memories between us as well when now I flashback.. play card, play guli, play spiral, sneaking to play computer games(especially the street fighter and bomberman).. really very funny..

I know those days will not happen anymore.. I rather develop myself better and look forward in the future.. Everything has its beginning and ending.. I couldnt stop at there or go back to last time.. I believe our successful future would be more attractive and splendid.. waiting for the day!!

Tired, Emotional and Troublesome

26th of September, 11.26am on Sunday, listening to 2Me-Kara
It was a rare morning to me as I barely woke up so early in the morning except having class.. As a matter of fact, I just sent her back to her university to prepare for the final mid-sem paper, that's why I woke up early.. ^^ Yesterday I accompanied her to study till very late.. I felt very helpless cause I couldnt give her my hand except made a cup of warm coffee to her and stay beside of her as well as lend her my shoulder..Roughly 6 chapters left, how to complete it within a few hours.. Eventually she finished 4 chapters before she went bed..

I dont know why recently I felt moody.. not willing to do anything.. First time I woke up and feel moody to go class.. Always did I will never do.. Am I in a emotional situation?.. because of burden?study?competition?relationship?.. I dont know, I just wanna ran away from all these thing and lean on somewhere to think how to proceed my way.. Recently I felt I've changed to someone which im not recognized after in relationship.. terrible!!.. I was getting throw out and give up my stuff and just wishing to enjoy in the relationship.. swt =.=" .. I have never met this kind of situation.. Probably sometimes I will only think to sleep for whole day and avoid from anything. But, now the situation was very strange, unfamiliar at all.. I also dont know what is my direction.. lolxxx.. cockroach is under an aimless direction!!

Internship and assignment are my current major problems.. I dont know where to do my internship.. no company wants to hire me.. =.="" .. hahaha.. For me, to market myself is not really as hard as other.. Maybe Im always the positive thinker and confident than others..it is because I still havent applied properly.. laziness really kills me off.. hahaha.. Assignments were piled up as high as a mountain.. I felt strengthless to shoulder this burden.. Time was the main factor.. followed by laziness and busy.. lolz.. If you are determined to do something, nothing can stop you; if you are not, anything could be your excuses..

Last Wednesday was Mooncake Festival.. This year I never bite any mooncake or celebrate this festival.. lolz.. seemed it was not important to me ady, just like an ordinary day.. I thought that day was a lonely day to me.. But lastly I found her to go out with me to Cheras Look Out Point.. We had some drinks and some snacks over there.. poor service.. Too Bad!!.. I still remembered that she said she wanted to play lantern on the next mooncake festival.. I wish I could fulfill her wish because I dont know where am I next year after graduated.. I will try to take it as a promise to her.. Not only mooncake festival, I wish to pass through all the festival with her.. ^^

By the way, yesterday Ah Beng told me that my ex had a boyfriend already when he met her accidentally at Pesta Tanglung fair at Kajang.. This fact is not proven yet, because he just saw the guy was closed to her only.. I really dont know if it is a good or bad news.. Is she serious? or the guy is just a substitute to her.. Or she just wanted to make me angry?..If she really did find her future partner, I bless for her sincerely from the deep of my heart..Im the one who tore her heart painfully afterall.. She is really good enough, but not to me because we are not matched, living in different world.. So I just can pray for her have a better life partner and relationship which is far better than me in her future..

Proudly to say that, I had tried to appreciate, but Im still failed, so I choose to leave.. Now I meet my potato.. I dont know if she would become my life partner, but Im sure that my feeling to her is undescribable strong and I wish she would be my last one.. If one day we were foreordained to leave each other unfortunately, it would be my most most most precious memory and I will not wish to delete it and bring it along until the end of my day no matter how hurt the feeling is..
~~Fighting For Love~~

Passed One Day as if Passed One Minute

22nd of September, 2.21pm on Wednesday, listening to 昨迟人-许志安
Abandoned my blog for 5 days already.. Finally I've returned to my blog.. those days of missing her had gone.. Last week I went Kuala Lipis to find her.. Fortunately I didnt get a wrong way to get over there with my lovely GPS although im not familiar with the route.. Reached there at around 7pm.. By that time, she was feeling not well.. Was I bringing the bad luck to her? lolx..

The feeling is just like back to village feeling.. It was just a small rural town, majority is Malays.. just like my grandmother's village.. full of enthusiasm, closing to each other even though unknown, fresh air, natural environment..

That night we went to yumcha with her friends after I tasted her sister(Lynn) fried Mihoon.. it was too much pepper and too dry, but I was still able to finished it..^^
Pak Toh, a place designed in Malay style with a gloomy environment, originated by chinese.. I never tried the food because I was still full by that time, just ordered a special chocolate ice which I had to stir the chocolate to mix with the milk.. lolx.. After a while, most of her friends reached to the place.. and we were having the communication gap between them especially ah soo.. it was in my expectation but the situation seems better..hahaha.. I met her ex but we didnt talk even a single word to each other.. Lolxxx.. Anyway, Im a guest and supposingly at least he talked something to me, right? or is this the way he treat his guest although he probably not really like me? seems he felt more embarrassed than me.. hahaha..

Next day(Friday) we slept till afternoon.. Everybody was waiting us to bring them out for breakfast or lunch without any notice.. hahaha.. really sorry for that, i missed to sense it.. Lunch, we ate at her aunty house.. Food was not nice actually.. Evening we went to play basketball.. The court is considered okay.. the floor was not very smooth.. the players were not bad.. First match we played with them, I lost.. Maybe I was still in warm-up mode, and I didnt play for 2 weeks ady.. my breathing was quite difficult in the first match.. After that, I started to play serious in the other matches but still dunno why I had not enough energy to shoot..really swt.. fortunately I didnt disappoint her.. straight win..wakakaka.. ^^

At night we went to steamboat at Ah En's house.. knew many new friends at there.. Jimmy, Ah En, Crespo(Ah Lap), Ah Man, Tunku, Kent, Hsien Wei, Ah Pit, Chery, Ah Hong, Trista, Ying Hwa.. lolz.. AFter finished the dinner, we go to put wishing lantern.. first time I wrote wishes on wishing lantern.. I really dunno what to write actually.. My mind only ask me to write happy to be with her forever, but I didnt write on it..Because I knew our happiness is not decided by anybody except us.. we were the people to create the happiness for both of us in the future.. A thousand or million of wishes are useless if we never put any effort on it..

Saturday, we woke up late as we had canceled the trip to kuantan.. We decided to back kajang because yesterday we played till too late, not enough sleep and energy to travel there.. Afternoon we took our lunch at lipis which is so-called the most dirty food.. This wasnt the whole actual fact.. The food is not only dirty, plus it was damn difficult to enter into my mouth.. very not delicious.. Hor Fun with egg sauce without fried Hor Fun instead of boiled Hor Fun!! lolx.. After that, we stayed at her house and rest a while before back kajang.. The longer I rest in her house, the more unwilling to leave.. I like the place, the simple house, friends, her 2 pretty sisters and handsome brother and fresh environment.. You will never know how hard was my leg stepped into the car and my feeling at the moment..

On the way back to kajang, we went to Ampang and tried a Korean BBQ steamboat which was not provided Korean Food and recommended by Ah Kit(my campus friend).. But that price and food were really worth.. very nice!!.. fresh fish and crab.. somemore we played cooking over there.. damn funny!!.. She seemed like very enjoy in the cooking process.. help us to cook instead of eating.. (Actually she was full, that's why she cooked for us..hahaha..).. After that, we continued our journey.. It was downpour heavily.. and ah soo "shouted" at behind that he want to excrete..hahaha.. everytime he was like that.. used to hear it.. hahaha

Sunday, we woke up late again as usual.. Passed the day as usual with her, potato.. Although we did nothing, but we spent the time with each other very fast.. Soon day changed to night.. At night, I did something unscrupulous.. haizz.. I really didnt mean to read it, I just discovered it suddenly and it triggered out my curiosity.. so sorry..

This simple trip really passed so fast.. I passed these 3 days as if passed 1 days only.. I really hope that Im able to pause the time at the moment if possible.. I really wish to drop out all my duties and just stay at there simple village with her forever.. Maybe you will think that I gain nothing throughout this trip.. But for me, I knew, I understand and I tasted how was her life at there, experienced what she always experienced, did what she always did, travel where she always been.. It was much memorable to me and I wish I could understand her even more!!

相思的最后一天

九月十六号，星期四，凌晨3点18分，没有听歌。
一大早我就起来玩股票了，由于今天是非常难得的一个早上，竟然怡保早上下雨！！超稀有的现象咯，一年大约有5，6次左右吧。结果，我就继续睡觉。其实我是有点伤感和失望咯，因为我以为小蕃薯还在生我的气，没有回我的信息。然后我十一点多又起身一下，发现她又没回我的信息，又带着失落的感觉进入梦里。

我睡醒的时候，已是1点多了，可是她也没回信，真的很心疼下的。然后我就半醒的状态下打电话给她了。结果她说我没像平时一样早上打电话给她，所以她也没打给我。至于信息方面，她就说她不知道怎样回我，所以没回。虽然我听了更加心痛，可是我还是算了吧。我当时的脑海除了想要跟她和好，还是和好。幸好最终我们还是和好如初。嘻嘻嘻！！

一到了傍晚，我才发现嫲嫲没有煮饭，因为没完米了，那个没用的爸爸又不要买米，我们只好去打包。我真的觉得他一点用都没有，完全没有责任感，就连养活一家的能力都没有，对他超级反感。其实不只我一个人那么想，很多人都对他反感了。所以等我有能力赚钱后，我肯定会给他相同的滋味的。对他我已经是失望到没有得再失望的余地了。

晚上还是一样，跟小蕃薯谈个不停，虽然话题中间有些事是我听了之后觉得不爽的，可是我还是选择继续听她的答案。谢谢你很坦白地告诉我！！还有就是默默地支持我！！我爱你！！

相思的最后一天果然特别兴奋。真的很想念她！又加上迫不及待见到她的心情，心里好像在倒数着每一个小时。虽然两天前才见过面，可是还是很想念她，还是很想见到她。热恋中的情侣果然是特别奇怪。哈哈哈。希望我们能尽量保持这种莫名其妙的热恋感。嘻嘻！！

Fiancee, I'm bringing my cockroachy troop to conquer Lipis soon!!! muahahaha!!

相思的第九天

九月十五号，星期三，凌晨3点46分，正在听着，说了再见-周杰伦
太好了！！倒数起来只剩两天而已。美极了！！哈哈哈～～ 今天和平常一样，调了闹钟可是睡到不省人事，股市又没理到。重点就是我竟然起身叫阿苏（我的房友）去吃早餐。早餐中我才发现股市气势如红，又失去机会了。懒睡真的害人不浅。哈哈哈。

早餐完后，就回家准备一下入市了。我竟然发现国大排名在十大里面，超难想像咯。奇怪的就是我很不爽咯，因为我觉得他们（那些大学工作人员）会骄傲咯。又不是他们的功劳，他们又没教我们什么东西，他们会个屁咩，最厉害还不是领功咯。可是我还是打算做最后的冲刺，尽量能赢多少就多少。

今天好像什么都没做到，只是对着面子书而已，又废了一天哈哈哈。傍晚的时候，却发生一件我最不想要发生的事，就是和小蕃薯吵架。虽然不是什么大吵架，可是我还是非常不喜欢。虽然别人说偶尔吵吵架是好事来的，可是我还是不想咯。这次小蕃薯开了一个令我不喜欢的玩笑。虽然这是开玩笑而已，可是就是我不知道为什么我会不喜欢的，还令到我心痛的玩笑，我就是在意她说的那句话。唉～～～ 过后我又摆我不爽的声音给她，还说了一些令她不爽的话，结果我和她道歉了。幸好最终我们还是没有事了。谁开口说对不起先，这也不重要了，重要的是我和她能在一起就是了。半夜突然间我们又吵了起来，就是因为大家不肯认输，所以就无端端闹起来了。有时我真的搞不清到底要怎么做才能令她开心。可是如果每次都要我令口是心非的她开心而要我做出自己不愿意的事，这也不再是我自己本人了吗？。。真的难搞。。唉呀，我还是觉得总之到最后没事就好了。嘻嘻！！

××对不起小蕃薯，我也不应该时常逼你的××